SEATTLE, WA – As the saga of Amazon (AMZN) founder Jeff Bezos’ divorce, and threats of extortion by the National Enquirer over his lewd selfies unfolds, perhaps the most startling fact is that the pictures had been uploaded to Amazon’s Prime Video section for almost a month before they were noticed.
Due to an apparent glitch in Amazon’s master upload permissions, combined with Mr. Bezos’ own misunderstanding with his Amazon Echo, almost a dozen of personal photos, some “below the belt”, had been uploaded to the site in early January. “We have no idea how these lurid pictures were live on the site for so long,” says Raymundo Curtis, the senior vice president for Prime Video content, “surely with the thousands of Prime customers who definitely watch our great, original content everyday, this should have been discovered almost immediately.” However, Mr. Curtis confirmed the authenticity of the pictures that Mr. Bezos intended for his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez and said that the company quickly deleted them from the site as soon as they found out.
Few were more shocked about seeing Mr. Bezos’ private correspondence in their queue than the viewers who initially alerted Amazon. Glynis Bell, 46, of Carlisle, PA, recalls her initial encounter, “There I was, just about to watch Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, as I do every Thursday, when ‘BOOM’, a spry male nude body right in front of [season 3 of the gritty, critically-acclaimed sci-fi series] The Expanse. What else could I do? I tried to call for help but Alexa kept saying, ‘these are just for you, Lauren’; I couldn’t look away.”
Mr. Curtis assures Boredroom News that this was an isolated incident and Amazon “is committed to delivering a variety of quality video content, mostly without middle-aged penises, to our loyal subscribers.”