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Tesla Board Replaces Elon Musk’s Phone with Speak & Spell

PALO ALTO, CA – Following another contentious bout between Elon Musk and the Securities Exchange Commission, the Tesla (TSLA) board voted unanimously to replace their Chief Executive’s phone with a 1979-model Speak & Spell children’s toy. The SEC has asked a federal court to hold Mr. Musk in contempt for violating procedures that had been put in place after he tweeted last October that he had secured funding to take Tesla private.

Although few senior officials at the electric vehicle company were willing to comment on efforts to rein in Mr. Musk’s Twitter habits, one board member,
speaking anonymously, said that talking, educational toy made by Texas Instruments (TXN) was a suitable outlet for Musk’s often capricious communications. “He can type whatever comes to mind and play fantasy-land for as long as he wants,” says the source, “without significantly derailing relations with federal regulators or investors. It’s really the perfect solution and we don’t think Elon has figured out that he’s no longer connected to the internet.”

“However, we still don’t have the courage to tell him that all the SpaceX launches are really just bottle rockets, though.”

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