Press "Enter" to skip to content

Posts published in May 2019

Ford Memorial Day Sale Now Explicitly in Honor of Both Sides

DETROIT, MI – In a Shocking move to some, but a progressive stance for a new era to others, the Ford Motor Company (F) announced that their annual Memorial Day sales event now supports both American combatants as well as their opponents on the battlefield. “Ford has always been 100% committed to the troops,” says Evelyn Jasper, the firm’s newly-instated vice president of marketing for diversity and inclusion, “but who are we to say that veterans of only one side of a conflict deserve an all-time low of 1.6% APR on a new Super Duty F-350?”… Read more

Arby’s Introduces Roast Beef & Cheddar with Extra Blockchain

ATLANTA, GA – Maybe the perfect topping on a “mountain of meat” really is a secure, decentralized currency; at least that’s what Arby’s (ARBY) is counting on with the launch of its newest line of roast beef and blockchain sandwiches.

Many fast-food connoisseurs remain skeptical of what they see as a brash move to capitalize on the financial technology trend, but company officials are determined to re-invent the meat purveyors as the next generation of casual dining.… Read more

Mission News Theme by Compete Themes.