ATLANTA, GA – Maybe the perfect topping on a “mountain of meat” really is a secure, decentralized currency; at least that’s what Arby’s (ARBY) is counting on with the launch of its newest line of roast beef and blockchain sandwiches.
Many fast-food connoisseurs remain skeptical of what they see as a brash move to capitalize on the financial technology trend, but company officials are determined to re-invent the meat purveyors as the next generation of casual dining. “We’re not really sure what the ‘blockedchain’ [sic] is,” admits CEO Paul Brown, “but we do know that many consumers are more interested in crypto-money than in soggy cold cuts, so it’s probably time to hop on the hype train.” Brown has been the driving-force in revitalizing fast-food brands but acknowledges that mountains of meat can only be pricing before the whole industry embraces a radical paradigm shift. “We have the meats – that’s no question – now we just need to capitalize on the market trend towards decentralized financial services; it’s really an adjacent industry when you think about it.”
As Arny’s begins it’s roll-out of the Roast Beef & Cheddar with Extra Blockchain in select cities, the first few consumers were indeed impressed by he flavoring of decentralized ledger technology. “The strong cheddar taste I already love goes great with the Etherium baked right in,” proclaims Sam Guncler of Des Moines, Iowa, “And I’m really looking forward to what they’re doing with Ripple (XRP) this summer.”
Arby’s planned initial coin offering is imminent as soon as their chief technology officer can figure out how to unlock his Gmail account.