DETROIT, MI – In a Shocking move to some, but a progressive stance for a new era to others, the Ford Motor Company (F) announced that their annual Memorial Day sales event now supports both American combatants as well as their opponents on the battlefield. “Ford has always been 100% committed to the troops,” says Evelyn Jasper, the firm’s newly-instated vice president of marketing for diversity and inclusion, “but who are we to say that veterans of only one side of a conflict deserve an all-time low of 1.6% APR on a new Super Duty F-350?”
The latest promotional materials for the Memorial Day Sales Event have not eschewed the traditional appropriation of red, white, and blue banners and bunting to highlight the event, but this year Ford’s marketing team has gone further to include the battle colors of the British Colonial militias, various European powers, the Japanese Imperial House, as well as the more modern colors of the Viet Cong and Al-Qaeda. Although some social activists have praised Ford for placing garish cardboard cutouts of leaders such as Ayman al-Zawahiri next to those of Washington and Eisenhower to sell sport utility vehicles, not everyone views the move as a step in the right direction.
Anwar “The Demon of Damascus” Mohammed, a spokesperson for a current American opponent, the Islamic State, said that his organization had not been contacted by the Ford Motor Company for their approval and would be distancing themselves from the campaign they describe as “jingoistic and absurd.”