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New Rent Reform from Albany Allows Tenants to Crash at Landlord’s Pad Just Whenever

ALBANY, NY – Sweeping changes from the New York State legislature have begun to restore rent regulations eroded by the real estate industry over decades, and have importantly enshrines the right of tenants “to stop by the landlord’s residence at any time and just relax for a bit.” The Democratic lawmakers who brokered the deal, signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo late Friday afternoon, have hailed the reforms as progress for the 2.4 millions rent-controlled residents of New York, as well as the millions of market-rate tenants who “want to take a load off and lay low” in their landlord’s pad.

“This is an historic day in the for renters throughout New York,” proclaimed Greg “Shaggy” Jarmon, noted activist and pretty chill dude, “tenants have attained real wrested control from an industry that for too long has gripped Albany.” Activists like Mr. Jarmon forced concessions such as “being able to burn down on a couch” at their landlord’s place whenever they want, as well as making sure the refrigerator is stock with “at least a few crisp ones”, and ensuring landlords are “chill about sharing the Netflix password” when tenants stop by.

While some entrenched real estate professionals waged a campaign to harsh the mellow that tenants demanded, some radical activists say the laws do not go far enough, having stopped short of allowing violent mobs of systemically-abused tenants drag the oppressive landed classes into the streets and eat them.

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