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Gold Futures Down as Leprechaun Cabal Shows Signs of Breaking

DUBLIN, IRELAND – Commodities speculators this week are shedding gold futures in anticipation of a market flood. The storied Leprechaun cabal, which has artificially kept prices high for centuries by withholding significant reserves, has begun to fissure. “This in-fighting is only the beginning,” warns analyst Dan O’Grady, “many of these Leprechauns will stop at nothing to protect their hordes from entering circulation, but younger generations, mostly those Leprechauns born after 1750, think have a real advantage in a competitive market.” As of press time, traders have been watching the skies for a clear signal to any hidden reserves.

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