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Bailout Deal Allows SoftBank Execs to Steal Any Food They Want from WeWork Shared Fridges

NEW YORK CITY – After a disastrous IPO attempt, the We Company is reportedly offering SoftBank financiers whatever food they find in WeWork communal spaces to encourage an emergency bailout of almost $3 billion. The once-feted purveyor of shared office space had been previously valued at nearly $47 billion but now says, “all bets are off” when it comes to lunchtime with the SoftBank management team, “even clearly labeled items as well as uncut birthday cake is fair game”.

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