Press "Enter" to skip to content

MTA President Quits; Masked Vigilante Improving Train Delays Emerges

NEW YORK CITY – Andy Byford, the beleaguered head of the MTA who was brought in to fix the ailing transit system two years ago, announced his resignation Thursday. Mr. Byford was seen by many riders as hero but clashed frequently with Governor Cuomo over the policy and authority of the world’s busiest transit system. The chief will retire from the public eye and take up residence in wings of the New York Transit Museum in Brooklyn


In unrelated news, a masked vigilante has been spotted roaming the subway tunnels underneath the city. Reports of repaired signal boxes and cleared tracks have sprung up across the system, from the far reaches of the JZ in Queens to the nexus of Times Square itself.

Who is this masked man? Where did he come from and how does he know so much about the inner-working of the New York City subways?

We may never have the answers to these burning questions, but one thing is for sure: Trackman, as thankful riders have come to call him, is truly the hero we deserve.

“I’ve seen him leap from platform and remove 17 feral cats right from the track,” recounts Emilia Cruz of her chance encounter with the unknown subway savior at the Parkchester station. “He even helped an sick old lady off a car so it could leave the station promptly. I think she died, but we all got to Grand Central in record time.”

Not everyone is thrilled about Trackman’s efforts; Gov. Cuomo, angered by such a brazed affront to his authority 150 miles away in Albany, has issued a warrant for the vigilante’s arrest as well as a hefty reward for any information that may uncover his identity.

However, few have taken proffered details to the authorities. Amid the sprawling systems of tunnels and tracks that underlie our very lives, riders are now assured that at least one man, whoever he is, now keeps a watchful eye for all of us and our daily commute.

The best business news, delivered every Monday

Invalid email address
We promise not to spam you. You can unsubscribe at any time.

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mission News Theme by Compete Themes.