LOS GATOS, CA — The streaming giant revealed that it has amended some episodes of its hit show Stranger Things to remove unfavorable references to the Upside Down, according to the company’s first report
Social Governance. Although Netflix (NFLX) has removed content at the demand of governments around the world, this is the first takedown request on behalf of an interdimentional evil super-organism.
NEW YORK CITY — This week the most-famed dog show in America is dipping its toes into new opportunities to increase revenue and viewership by allowing some sponsors to advertise on the dogs themselves.
“Warheads on foreheads is our business,” Kennedy said at the annual earnings call on Thursday, “but business isn’t booming.
“We have opened the very legs of god,” beamed Goop founder Gweneth Paltrow, who also served as principle investigator for the experiment. “Although highly unstable, our lab-grown quantum vagina proves that concentrated yonic energy can be achieved in a lab.”