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Bureau of Printing and Engraving Not Expected to Meet Demand for Thirty Trillion Nickels

PHILADELPHIA — “We thought the order was strange, too,” admitted Jonathan D. Prunehopf, the acting director of the government agency responsible for printing United States currency, “but [Treasury Secretary] Mnuchin specifically said he wanted the entire $1.5 trillion stimulus plan to be paid in nickels. So here we are”

Director Prunehopf insisted that his team was working around the clock to stamp the deluge of small change intended to stable to economy amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Although he expects the order to be completed around mid-October, 2023, Prunehopf does not think the massive influx of 30 trillion coins will fix anything, considering the cost of $2.4 trillion to mint.

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