CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — The launch of two NASA astronauts on a rocket built by SpaceX would have also launched the age of private space exploration were it not for a dispute with the billionaire Elon Musk over proper protective equipment for the flight into space. The astronauts, Robert L. Behnken and Douglas G. Hurley, veterans of NASA and accustomed to donning full space suits when leaving the Earth’s atmosphere, had asked Mr. Musk for more than the jumpsuits that they normally wear at work. “We wanted at least something to prevent our heads from explosive decompression on the ride up, but [Musk] just told us to ‘get to fucking’ work from his chair at Ground Control”, says Col. Behnken, the mission commander, “so I’m like ‘fuck this noise, me and Dougy are out until y’all get your shit together.”
Surprisingly, Mr. Musk eventually capitulated to the astronauts’ reasonable demands and rescheduled the historic launch until after proper spacesuits could be fashioned. However, not all of Mr. Musk’s employees, have been as successful in securing much needed protective equipment.