TEMPE, AZ — An employee caught on camera violently defecating into the ice cream machine at the McDonald’s on University Drive had over a dozen prior misconduct complaints for the same activity, according the employee’s shift supervisor. “We knew Derek had been pooping in the chocolate soft-serve for months, actually,” admits Assistant Manager Shannon Lin of 14-year McDonald’s veteran food handler, Derek Chavez, whose reign of frozen fecal terror has been common knowledge throughout the Tempe community.
Most notably, while preparing an Oreo McFlurry in early 2008, Chavez reportedly popped a squat over the nozzle behind the counter, then handed the customer their order with his own fudge topping. Chavez was not disciplined for the incident as the only witness to the incident, Chavez’ fellow server Marcus “Fat Dick” O’Malley, swears poop was in the McFlurry already.
Former McDonald’s Regional Supervisor for ice cream-related complaints Mylan Masson told Boredroom News, the number of complaints against Chavez were “a little bit higher than normal,” but noted anyone can file a grievance and many customers tend to arrive at many McDonald’s locations in Arizona already caked in shit, “so we can’t say for certain that [Chavez] plopped logs in all those desserts.”
Three of Chavez’s fellow employees, one of which was caught on camera spreading Chavin’s cheeks in preparation, the other wiping up after the loaf had been pinched off, have also been disciplined and will serve their time behind the McFlurry counter at other locations in the Tempe area.