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Professional Dog Fighting Association To Start Season without Players Consent

ATLANTA, GA — The commissioner of the Professional Dog Fighting Association (PDFA) announced Monday afternoon that the truncated season will start in July, albeit without the consent of the fighting dogs themselves. “The owners understand that many dogs do not feel comfortable mauling each other to death for our amusement,” explained Commissioner Ron Dogford, as he nervously eyed the growling German Shepherds in attendance, “but the reality is that they’re bred to kill and we won’t make any money if they don’t.”

The owners’ have repeated assured fans that the safety of the starving, tortured dogs is a top priority, although the euthanization of top official’s in the dogs’ union has many players understandably worried.

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