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Trump Reverses on Virus after Campaign Staffer Orders Too Many MAGA Masks

Washington, D.C. – Months of fumbled pandemic responses from the White House have left the country in dire straits, but this morning President Trump issued an official mandate requiring face covering to be worn at all time after he had learned that a junior merchandising volunteer had ordered nearly two million masks emblazoned with “Make America Great Again.”

“Listen, this China-flu is very bad. Doodoo Democrats want us to get the virus so they can elect Sleepy Joe [Biden],” the president declared while sporting the conspicuously red mask. “The sneaky Chinese attacked us with their nastiness but we’ve got beautiful masks, the greatest masks in the world,” he said, referring to the overstock on non-medical grade fabric shipped by Alibaba, “and for the fantastic price of $16.95 each, we can MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

Some reporters say the president may be too optimistic about the masks effectiveness, noting that one the Trump campaign store sells out their current inventory, “the virus will probably be done though.”

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