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Boredroom News

Amazon Raises Wages to $15; Only Redeemable through Prime Now

SEATTLE, WA – This week Amazon’s (AMZN) new minimum wage of $15 an hour went into effect for over 200,000 of its U.S. employees, but reactions have been mixed. Some say that the retailer has curtailed overall compensation by ending stock grants and other benefits, and many are not happy that all take home pay is now only redeemable as Prime Now credit.… Read more

Vanguard Adviser Also Passively Managing Own Life

MALVERN, PA – Mid-level fund adviser Donald Burton at The Vanguard Group has extended his investment strategy of passive management into his personal life. Instead of seeking out social activities, romantic relationships, or any personal improvement, Mr. Burton has opted to focus his life targets around certain benchmarks.

For example, “in any social setting I’ll only talk to brunette women between 24 and 32 years old, under 5’7” and at least a B-cup,” he told Boredroom News, assuring that he “will talk to all who fit that criteria in the bar.”… Read more

Chipotle Unveils All-Sourcream Burrito

DENVER, CO – Citing recent reports of food safety concerns in many locations nationwide, the fast-casual restaurant chain Chipotle (CMG) unveiled a new featured item on their menu, the All-Sourcream Burrito. The burrito, an 18-inch wheat or flour tortilla wrapped haphazardly around two cups of sour cream, is being touted as the tent-pole menu item as the restaurant chain attempts to win back the trust of their customers.… Read more

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