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Posts tagged as “IPO”

Beyond Meat CEO Driven to Push Beyond All Other Corporeal Limitations As Well

EL SEGUNDO, CA – “Releasing ourselves from the burden of consuming flesh is only the beginning,” announced Ethan Brown to a rapt audience at the headquarters of Beyond Meat, the plant-based food company. “Our True selves are currently trapped by the vibrational resonance of the Third Dimension to keep us from Complete Ascension. Beyond Meat has shown that we can break our dependence on the bodies of Holstein cows, and soon break the dependence on our own ‘bodies’ as well.”… Read more

Sexual Harassment Condoned at Uber to Temper IPO Expectations

SAN FRANCISCO – Having filed it’s S-1 with the Securities and Exchange Commission in the last days of 2018, the ride-hailing service Uber is expected to launch it’s initial public offering early in 2019. Although the tech giant pulled in just under $3 billion in revenues last quarter, they face stiff competition in the market and are beginning to temper the expectations of investors.… Read more

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