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Posts tagged as “Kraft-Heinz”

U.N. Contract to Airdrop Aid into Syria Awarded to Lunchables

DAMASCUS – The last resort of humanitarian aid has been valiantly taken up by the last resort of prepackaged meals as Lunchables has been selected to provide 15 tones of food aid to Syrian residents. The effort marks a significant step for parent company Kraft-Heinz (KHC) as it re-positions its unsold inventory as a boon for the public sector.… Read more

Management Tells Abraham to Bring Intern to Sacrifice

PITTSBURGH, PA – Early this week senior executives at Kraft Heinz (KHC) directed Director of Supply Chain Operations Robert Abraham to take his only MBA intern and sacrifice him as a radical cost-cutting measure.

Even at within the company culture of the firm, leading employees to their death upon the blood altar is considered to be an extraordinary measure.… Read more

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