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Posts tagged as “MBA”

Young Man Radicalized Online, Joins Extremist Capitalist Faction

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, UPPER MANHATTAN – It is harrowing story, but, unfortunately, an all-to-familiar one: a bright, young man descends into an online world that warps his mind with twisted ideologies and entices him to fight for a cause he barely understands.

The day that Bobby Caldwell of Appleton, WI, left home for good he packed light: a pair of slacks, an Oxford-cut button-down, new Ferragamos that he saw in a video once.… Read more

Top Business School Bans Free Coffee, Cites ‘Communist Scourge’

NEW YORK CITY, NY – The world of elite education is no stranger to controversy or ideology, but one institution may have gone too far; Columbia Business School has halted all free coffee for students and faculty effective immediately in an effort to rid its halls of the ‘specter of Communism.’ Incoming class president, Ethan T.… Read more

Panhandler Extends Omni Channel Presence

AUSTIN, TX – As the digital revolution continues to spread, tech-savvy individuals in every industry have found success — and panhandling is no exception. Bivouacked on Red River Street between 6th and 7th, local homeless man Robert ‘Bob’ Munsen has significantly increased his competitive advantage through a robust omni-channel marketing strategy.

Mr. Munsen, 34, originally form Plano, TX, has devised a revolutionary approach to ask for alms in downtown Austin, incorporating bleeding-edge data-driven decision making to optimize revenue.… Read more

Management Tells Abraham to Bring Intern to Sacrifice

PITTSBURGH, PA – Early this week senior executives at Kraft Heinz (KHC) directed Director of Supply Chain Operations Robert Abraham to take his only MBA intern and sacrifice him as a radical cost-cutting measure.

Even at within the company culture of the firm, leading employees to their death upon the blood altar is considered to be an extraordinary measure.… Read more

Unlike Undergraduate Scandal, ‘MBA Admissions a Complete Meritocracy,’ Says Student Whose Family Donated $10 Million

NEW YORK, NY – As the world of higher education reels from the indictments of actresses and millionaires in bribing undergraduate admissions departments, those in top business school can rest assured that their path to elite institutions was solely based on their accomplishments, says David Mendelson, a student a Columbia Business School whose family donated $10 million to the institution.… Read more

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