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Boredroom News

Uber May Shut Down in California if Forced to Classify Drivers as People, CEO Says

SACRAMENTO, CA — Uber may shut down its operations in California if it is forced to classify drivers as real human beings, CEO Dara Khosrowshahi said on Wednesday. The company is appealing a judge’s order to stop treating drivers and food delivery personnel as mindless beasts of burden who are not eligible to receive employee benefits.… Read more

Redskins Rebrand as the Washington Federal Agents after Sponsors Call for Change

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Football League franchise formally known as the Redskins unveiled their new name and mascot this week after many notable sponsors decried the former name’s racist overtones. Now officially the Washington Federal Agents, CEO Dan Snyder said he personally worked with his marketing team and members of the D.C. community to find “the embodiment of the warrior ethos in the modern age.”… Read more

Costco Refuses to Let Man Return Panic-Bought Toilet Paper Used

EDEN PRARIE, MN — A local man attempted to return nearly two hundred rolls of toilet paper purchased at the onset of the coronavirus pandemic but was asked to leave when Costco (COST) personnel found that the product had not only already been opened, but had been soiled extensively. Known for their generous returns policy, bulk sizes of household goods, and grease-laden pizzas and chicken bakes, the warehouse in the Minneapolis suburb was plagued by selfish consumers over-buying toilet paper at the fearing new stay-at-home orders.… Read more

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